Things that I am really grateful for

1. Spotify. Free music, yeheei. Now if I only had an iPhone to go with it..

2. Not to be hooked on Big Brother. What kind of imbeciles go on to that show??? And have sex there??? Apparently people who think the Australian flag is either American or English (“isn’t it supposed to have more stars…?”) and that Brazil is the capital of Argentina. Way to go. How about making an academic season next year? Yes? No?

3. Global warming. Say what you want, eco-freaks, but I’m grateful for milder winters and warmer autumns! Wider range of clothes to wear, too, duh.

4. Scented cat litter. My guests appreciate it, too.

5. Unicafes. Cheap and healthy lunch as long as I have a student card.

6. Barney Stinson. He’s just awesome.

7. Digital cameras. Think of all the decision-making back in the days. Should I take a pic now or wait.. Dammit, only 23 more frames to go!

8. My boobs. They are of good size, not too big not too small (what??!! I am really!!!!!).

9. Morning coffee. You can’t suffer from constipation if you’re a coffee drinker. It’s just a matter of how many cups to drink.

10. Cotton sticks. Even Mozart was mistaken for a deaf f0r having too much wax in his ears. Yes yes they tell you not to stick it in your ear but everyone does it anyway.

Alina’s TV Guide for Fall 2009

Yaaaaaaaaaaah so since the trip is still 4 months and 1 week away (sigh) I realized I needed heavy action to keep my  subscribers hooked (actually, there are none.. YET. One can always hope!).

And as I tend to find fictional reality more fascinating than the world we live in, I’m taking you through the TV jungle of fall 2009. Based on my TV guide you no longer need to surf through all the channels, instead you’ll know exactly what to watch! Sweet, eh?

RETURNING SERIES – TUNE IN!

1. Grey’s Anatomy -returning September 24th

I chose this to be my number one on the returning series because last season’s finale had the most gripping cliffhanger. Who dies, Izzie or George??? Or do they both leave the show? Please don’t let it be Izzie…

2. Desperate Housewives – returning September 27th

As much as I’ve lost my interest on this show, the ending of last season got me guessing, did Mike marry Susan or Katherine? God I hate it if it’s Katherine…

3. How I met your mother – returning September 21st

It’s awesome! This show is the best sitcom by far. Fuck Friends and fuck Seinfeld! Do I need to say more? And for the record we don’t really care who the mother is anyway, just let us enjoy Swarley, Lilypad and Marshmellows (the cutest couple ever!), Ted Mosby the Sex-architect as well as Robin Sparkels. Oh and yes, we love Barney and Robin together! The BRO love!

4. Californication - returning September 27th

David Duchovny. He fucks around and he fucks up. And he makes it look oh so cool! Season 3 begins with Karen leaving to New York, Hank is a single-dad with a new job as a college teacher. Sweeeeeeeeet!

5. Entourage - ongoing

Good to have you back, boys!

6. Dexter - returning September 27th

America’s favorite serial killer is now a husband and a dad. Season 3 left me disappointed but the sarcasm in this show is just superb. BTW, where can I get one of those cute “My Dad’s a killer”-baby-tees? Would make a great gift!

7. Gossip Girl - returning September 14th

OMG!! Yes yes yes the annoying teen drama is on my list! But at least the show is honest, the 16-year-olds (I guess they’ve just turned 17?) drink, have sex and lie. This season The Queen Bee and others are off to different colleges. And Chuck and Blair are togetheeeeeeeeeeeer! Finally! Might not last long though, hints the teaser. Georgina is back, too and she’s getting it on with Humphrey! WTF??!!

NEW SERIES

1. Melrose Place - series premieres September 8th

Michael Mancini and Sydney are back! Didn’t she die like 10 years ago??? She was driven over by a car at her own wedding or…? Apparently it’s not a remake but the same kind of a follow-up as the hideous 90210. I’m switching the channel…

2. The Vampire Diaries - on CW

“Following the death of their parents, Elena and Jeremy Gilbert are trying to put the pieces of their broken lives back together. As a new school year begins, Elena’s life is completely turned upside down by a handsome and mysterious new student named Stefan Salvatore.” Hmm, where have I heard this before? Ian Somerhalder aka Boone from Lost is doing a vampire show. Was it not enough with Twilight and True Blood??? Not interested, sorry.

3. The Beautiful Life: TBL - on CW

Ashton Kutcher produces a show on becoming super models in New York, starring Mischa Barton. It will never be as good as GG so NEEEEEEEEXT!

4. Accidentally on Purpose - series premieres September 21st

Jenna Elfman plays a woman who accidentally gets knocked up by a younger guy, decides to have the baby and move in with the one-night-stand-dude. Boring!

5. Hank – series premieres September 30th

Kelsey Grammar plays a former businessman who is a forced to move his family back to his hometown to more modest surroundings after being used to being rich (being used to being rich? hahaha). Could be funny. Doubt it, though.

6. Cougar Town – premieres September 23rd

Courtney Cox plays a single-mom of a teenager who dates younger men. Sorry Court, didn’t work with Dirt either. You’ll always be Monica to me.

7. Harper’s Island – starts in Finland in September

It’s Ten Little Indians (did you know it was originally called Ten Little Niggers but they changed the title?) combined with Lost. A couple is getting married on an island where a bunch of peeps were murdered 10 years ago and one by one the guests are being killed off by a mysterious murderer. 13 episodes so only one season. Worth to watch! Kinda liked this show.

That’s all folks! I will also be waiting for 2010 with new seasons from 24 and Lost! Geek-alert!

Why I hate Twilight

Here’s the thing. I don’t understand this Twilight-mania that’s been going on for a while now (even some of my friends have been known to suffer from this awful plague!). A year ago I ordered the first Twilight saga-book from www.play.com (awesome site, cheap dvd’s, books, no delivery charge!) since I was lacking a good summer-read and it was on the Top 10 books-list. I eventually came to realize it was the worst 5-or-so Euros ever spent.

Before I begin, I gotta say that I’m not one of those people who claim that they are “too good” for a certain kind of a book or a film, you know the type, “I despise Dan Brown-literature”, “How could you not have read Dante’s Divine Comedy?” and “Hollywood films are so ordinary, I feel like I’m dumbed down by these mainstream films, you just lose two hours of your life by watching something as meaningless as Hot Rod or Pineapple Express” (both, funny as hell!). I do use a lot of media for relaxation only and yes I am a huge fan of fantasy slash scifi-type of films and literature such as Star Wars, Lord of the Rings and even Harry Potter (the books! not the films) but c’mon, there’s no comparing these classics with Twilight.

Those of you who have been spared not to know what Twilight is about, it’s a book by Stephenie Meyers about a teenager girl Bella, who falls in love with a vampire dude, Edward (I know, right…). Then it’s all will-they, or won’t-they, oh the drama and gossip at the high school, blah blah blah… And they recently made a film out of it which appears to be a major hit.

So, I read the first book. I’ll give you this: yes, it is kiiiiinda hooking as you want to know what happens between Bella and Edward, if they get together eventually (I’m a hopeless romantic and get highly addicted to almost everything so that’s my excuse). But here’s why one should never waste time reading this piece of shit-book:

1. Throughout the book, in every fucking scene where Bella sees Edward, it is described how “his hazel/topaz/golden-shimmering glitzening eyes gazed upon me, and I couldn’t do anything but admire his divine beauty which always took my breath away”. We get it, he’s good-looking, now move on.

2. After all the build-up, you wait for some delicious, insanely hot, Johnny Deppish/Brad Pittish/David Duchovnyish, rip-my-clothes-off-right-now-kinda-looking guy to play his part in the movie and what happens??? He’s played by a fucking insanely pale, thin, heroin addict-type of dude. Not good.

3. Adjectives. Do not fucking overuse them, mrs. Meyer! Let the reader do some thinking of her own! Even Stephen King (yes, a great writer I may argue!) once said that what reveals an amateur writer is the over-usage of adjectives and adverbs. “Never write: ‘he slammed the door furiously’. ‘He slammed the door’ will do just fine, the reader will get it”.

If you still insist on reading Twilight, feel free to come over and collect my copy of it. I will give it to you free of charge.

June 15th 2009, Helsinki: +10 degrees, cloudy, rain showers

Yeah, so, I just want to throw something in the air; what the fuck is wrong with this summer, huh? Seriously! It pisses me off. Our appreciated quality media Iltasanomat claimed last week that this has been the coldest June in 60 years! I know -as we Finns say-  “time goldens the memories” (funny how I couldn’t find this expression on Webster’s dictionary…) but correct me if I’m wrong, we did have sunny summers back in the days, no?

Now, I dunno if it’s the global warming causing this or the geographical location or whatnot, but I want my goddamn sunny summers back! Is it too much to ask? We suffer from darkness what, 6-7 months a year here behind God’s back, so I really think it’s reasonable to ask for 2 months of even medium sunshine! UV-Index 4-6??? And I won’t settle with just two weeks of over-20-degrees, partly cloudy, I demand more!

But I have come to a conclusion, dear friends. Indeed I have! There’s a reason, why of all the nations in this world, we, in Finland, get to spend our summers in horizontal rain distroying one to five umbrellas a summer (last year my personal count was 3, including one “quality” one). It is because we don’t know how to demand! Think about it. We’re grateful to see just a glimpse of sun. And when someone dares to complain about the weather, it will, without a doubt, be noted that “but you know, there was that one sunny afternoon two weeks back, it’s not that bad, we’ll get there…” Bullshit, I say! Think about the Spanish, the Italian, the French, the German, hell, even the damn Swedish people right fucking next to us, they all have sunnier summers than we do. And that’s just fucking unfair. I believe we suffer from cold summer season because we are too damn modest. Fuck modesty! It’s time for a change. Ask for that free dessert if your steak was shitty, insist on talking to the manager when the service is bad, let the fucking sales person know it isn’t right for a pair of 300 € boots to get broken within two weeks, and demand to get a new fucking haircut and your money back when the hairdresser has turned your “do” into an 80s nightmare!

So, from here on out, I encourage my fellow citizens: Raise your fists towards the sky and demand for that goddamn sunshine! If you tolerate this, then your children will be next. I want my goddamn sunny summers and I want them now.

PS. I know, this post ain’t travel-related. So?

Maps

Oh no.. It’s been a day since I created this blog and here I am, less than 24 hours later, already writing another post. Blame the narcissism… (What do you mean, what narcissism???)

Just to visualize the trip to my dear, geographically challenged friends (Yes, I know you exist! You who thought Berlin was in Sweden! I won’t name you ) I’m posting a few maps here. No need to mock my poor photoshop skills. Click on the thumbnails and they should appear bigger.

6 months, 1 week and 4 days to go

Hellooo world!

This is me, writing my first-ever-blogpost.  Exciting, eh? I feel so Hank Moody! The purpose of this blog is to keep all my loved ones informed on my whereabouts and feelings during my 4-month-trip around Oz and Asia (yeah, like they care!) and to share some of the experiences I will encounter.

So why do I start blogging 6 months beforehand? Easy! Because (thankfully) many of you have expressed your possible desire to join me at some point of my trip, so to save myself from the trouble of sending everyone a separate message with dates and locations, I’m just going to post my first draft of the trip plan here, and if you are interested in joining, you can plan accordingly.

And as I’ve told everyone, please, join me, let the squirrel-wheel behind and free yourself from this commercialized lifestyle and come experience with me! Hahaha I know I know, been watching too many episodes of Madventures… But seriously, as I read for my exam for the faculty of political sciences (to study mass-communication and media analysis), I studied about the world becoming increasingly mediated, especially after internet. It means that whereas before (think Stone Age, Middle Ages) our values, everyday realities and core understanding were formed by immediate, physical experiences and knowledge, nowadays all that is defined by the media. Our identities, who we are, where we stand in life in regards to others, is all affected by the media which is omnipresent in our lives. Don’t get me wrong, that’s reality and I understand it. Hell, I’m the dream consumer of this mediated world! But for once in my life I want to break out from it and go Experience!!! To gain some  knowledge and understanding through immediate and physical experience. To see the world! And the best part is, you are all invited !

So here it is!

December 21 Helsinki – Sydney

• In Australia until 31st of January

February 1 (can change) Sydney – Auckland

• during this month I will visit Tonga and Fiji and spend maybe a week in Auckland (max.), the order of the trips is yet to be decided, maybe first Tonga for 2-3 weeks and then Fiji, open for suggestions and joiners

February 28 Auckland, NZ – Hong Kong

• spend a few days in Hong Kong hopefully with Mari

March 5 (can change) Hong Kong – Bali, Indonesia

• Help! All alone in Bali ! I want to visit an island called Sumba near Bali; great surfing possibilities, very remote, only two hotels on the whole island (heaveeen!)

end of March (yet to be defined) Bali – Malaysia/Kuala Lumpur

• From here on, I will mainly travel by road or Air Asia, haven’t bought any tickets yet as they are insanely cheap and want to leave some room for spur of the moment-ideas

end of March until end of April Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia

• This trip I will do by road/Air Asia and no idea where to start or where to go! Some places I definitely want to visit are: Angor Wat, Phnom Penh, Phi phi islands (didn’t have enough time last time), Koh Samui, Koh Phga Nan, Koh Tao (hmm these are almost all in Thailand…), etc.

30th of April Hong Kong – Helsinki

As you can see, there’s a lot of room for specific decisions to be made, but I’m more than willing to alter my plan if some of you decide to join.

Allu kuittaa!